Two of my coworkers, Dan and Anamaria, invited me to dinner and a free modern art show. I enjoy art, but I resisted, as this would interrupt my normal productive schedule of driving home, not eating dinner, and assuming the fetal position until it was time to get up and go back to work.
"Dinner" for people in our income bracket pretty much consists of ice water and a bad sandwich. So the highlight was when I spotted free food, but not just any free food: A cheese tray.
I tried what looked like a slice of cheddar, which tasted like peanut butter, and then I tried a slice of what looked like Swiss, which tasted like ass. I spit everything into a napkin, which I discreetly stuffed behind a sculpture of four demons pointing laser beam eyes at one another. And that, children, is how I lost my trust in art cheese.
Things picked up, however, as we ventured into the studios where the artists work. We passed the room of an artist displaying approximately eight million different pictures of dogs wearing hats, posed in relation to one another in various and sundry non-Catholic positions. A sign near the doorway read: "Natural II Classes Now Underway! Models needed!"
Anamaria and I fled, as politely as possible, directly into a bar.
It was truly Art.
August 22, 2003