My Car Pees on Me

We are constantly battling over this, my car and I. I don't think the Millennium Bellemobile does it of her own accord, poor girl; I blame the dealership, Toyota, and, for obvious reasons, God.

Dude who sold her to me failed to inform me that her wheels and her sunroof were custom-installed. And so when I was in an accident last year, the wheels and the sunroof were damaged (don't ask) and there was nothing any of the dealerships within a 9000 mile radius could do about it since they weren't Toyota-installed. (I'm going to enjoy my Honda Civic when it's finally time for the Bellemobile to go-- and you are NOT ALLOWED to tell her that I'm even thinking about it, or she'll start dropping parts where she's parked.)

The sunroof doesn't seal properly (let's not even discuss the six-change CD player located in the trunk that quit on me on the way home from the dealership) and so when I am subjected to the type of Florida storm we had last night-- the kind where you gather your small dogs and children and call upon the nearest available ark to come rescue you--all this water collects along the seal, and when we turn a corner I get peed on. You try mopping and driving during rush hour.

The Millennium Bellemobile is almost five years old. Toilet training really should not be an issue with a Corolla by now.

October 8, 2003

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